our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
