the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
