My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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