If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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