am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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