You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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