At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have fence marks all over my body
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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