The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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