Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
