yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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