Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
