But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
