Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
