If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
