I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
