I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
