OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
