I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
