so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
