Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The Olympian is in my bed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
