Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is this the sara with the beer cane?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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