i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
