Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
