That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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