At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
