i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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