well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
