i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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