do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
