pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
