so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
