I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
