Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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