i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
