it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize