K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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