i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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