im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
