why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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