Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
