how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
where are my eyebrows?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
