You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
