Is it because I queefed?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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