Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
