and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
