Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
