fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
