Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
