Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
