My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
