dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
