So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
