i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
