what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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